i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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