since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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