i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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