Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
You can't special order awesome
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
