do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
