Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
