Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
