he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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