U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
