But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
