I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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