...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
