the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize
