If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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