i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
a search helicopter?!
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
