Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
you made out with another girl for some wings
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Randomize
