Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
is wine microwaveable?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Randomize
