Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
