He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Holy shit dude........stairs
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
