Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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