i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize