Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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