Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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