Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
