I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
