i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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