3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
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