whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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