i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
