So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
