Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Randomize
