capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
