I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
