I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
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