OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
