After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Randomize
