Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
