I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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