If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I understand Curling. That high.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
