There was a lot of him and a little penis
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
