It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Randomize
