dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
