Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
