was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize