No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
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