Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
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