I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I fill condoms, not promises.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
