I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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