Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
did i just pee glitter
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
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