I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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