apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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