i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
So many bounce houses so little time
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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