Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
