remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize