Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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