You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
