I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
