loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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